Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
(Source: ourtwistedfuckingstory, via slydigger)
Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.
maybe
just maybe
women do some things for themselves and not just for men
what a concept
(via crookedfeet)
Cheetah balls and Cheeto balls
Wake up America
the ones on the left look tastier
i googled cheetah testicles just to prove you all wrong
(via bigfatnigga)
Things not to say to me while I’m eating:
- That’s a lot of food
- That’s not enough food
- You’re going to eat all of that???!??
- That looks gross
- That’s not healthy
- That looks healthy
- That’s disgusting
- Why are you eating that?
- I’m glad you’re eating more
In case you didn’t understand, DON’T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT MY EATING/FOOD/INTAKE WHETHER IT BE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.
(via bigfatnigga)
So I saw the picture of Taylor Swift on Jessie’s body and thought “I’m not gonna regret this” and pressed play.
I didn’t.
(via captainderp)
sometimes i read read as read when it’s actually supposed to be read as read
I UNDERSTAND IT GOD BLESS MY BRAIN
(via ninejuanjuan)
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
- harder
- better
- faster
- stronger
You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!Cha cha real smooth
(via buttpug)
