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Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you

(Source: ourtwistedfuckingstory, via slydigger)

hurricane-emily:

jimgaffigan:

Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.

maybe

just maybe

women do some things for themselves and not just for men

what a concept

(via crookedfeet)

rnilkteeth:

hallmoniter:

butterpopsicle:

Cheetah balls and Cheeto balls

Wake up America

the ones on the left look tastier

i googled cheetah testicles just to prove you all wrong

(via bigfatnigga)

perdu-me:

Things not to say to me while I’m eating:

  • That’s a lot of food
  • That’s not enough food
  • You’re going to eat all of that???!??
  • That looks gross
  • That’s not healthy
  • That looks healthy
  • That’s disgusting
  • Why are you eating that?
  • I’m glad you’re eating more

In case you didn’t understand, DON’T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT MY EATING/FOOD/INTAKE WHETHER IT BE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.

(via bigfatnigga)

the-anal-rapist:

Iconic.

cybergay:

cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer 

(via condorn)

rivalhyuu:

tumboy:

image

So I saw the picture of Taylor Swift on Jessie’s body and thought “I’m not gonna regret this” and pressed play. 

I didn’t.

(via captainderp)

osamah:

*takes a hit of weed and develops a jamaican accent*

(via slydigger)

that moment when you send something to the wrong person

laugh-addict:

image

(Source: thebestlolz)

(Source: blamingyourself, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

swayzepatrick:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

k1mkardashian:

sometimes i read read as read when it’s actually supposed to be read as read

image

I UNDERSTAND IT GOD BLESS MY BRAIN

(via ninejuanjuan)

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

  • bop it
  • pull it
  • twist it
  • harder
  • better
  • faster
  • stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

(via buttpug)

the-absolute-best-gifs:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

When I’m shuffling

Expectation

image

Reality

image

(Source: oafishly, via laugh-addict)

bigfatnigga:

Send me pics of ur butt